Season of the Witch and Mushroom Gravy

There hasn’t been a post in a while. Life intervened in its various forms… dogs, thesis, WoW, Buffy re-runs, etc…
Anyway I just watched “Season of the Witch” and I felt compelled to do the following:

1. Warn people not to see it
2. Share something positive

So first of all don’t watch it. It was awful. There was a plague or something where people got turned into dirty, oozing elephant men. Then there were some zombie monks and a witchy demon thing. So probably not Sci-Fi since it is supposed to take place in the 14th century, but it was bad, and it is kind of the anti-sci-fi, positing that religious stuff is responsible for what we now believe to be scientific stuff.

Whatever.

The sword stuff wasn’t even that good. If you do fail to heed my warning, please just turn it off as soon as they kill the bad guy. The ending voiceover was so terrible that it is entirely possible that the movie was phenomenal, but the voiceover destroyed everything that may have been good, and then drowned some kittens just for fun afterwards. Some people just don’t know when to be quiet.

My soul feels slightly cleaner.

Now to purge the remnants of the soul taint and restore some balance to the world, I am sharing a simple but good recipe for mushroom gravy. Note this recipe is for people who actually cook things (i.e. if you use measuring cups/spoons stop reading now and go order some take-out – I don’t say this to be mean, I just have no measurements to offer and hate it when people cry in the kitchen).

Vegetarian Mushroom Gravy

You will need:

• mushrooms (your choice of type, feel free to mix and match)
• shallots
• butter (or olive oil if you are vegan)
• white cooking wine, or whatever substitute you like (beer, broth, water, etc… just not red wine: it makes the gravy an unpleasant gray purple color, but still tastes fine)
• dried mushrooms
• thickening agent (I just use whatever flour I have at hand and last time it was cornmeal, which worked fine).
• salt
• pepper

1. Sautee shallots in butter, enjoy the aroma. This is the most heavenly smell, and will make you feel warm and cozy. Enjoy it.
2. When shallots are sort of translucent, add in mushrooms (chopped to your preferred size). I usually cut in half and slice, but chopping or using a food processor probably does the trick too. Add in some salt and pepper and any other seasoning you like.
3. Cook until they look cooked, add in some dried mushrooms (break them up by hand a little) and a little liquid.
4. Mix the thickener with some more of the liquid. Add slowly to cooking mushrooms and continue to cook until the liquid has reduced to your liking.
5. Eat. Tasty on mashed potatos. Goes well with a viewing of “Troll Hunter“

Don’t ask me questions about the recipe – unless you burn something, it is pretty damn hard to mess up, like Norwegian movies about Trolls.
And remember, DON’T WATCH SEASON OF THE WITCH.